lies & love

i sat down looking as if i am blissfully happy under a tree
but down the shade i failed to shed my own tears.

from far u'll see me smiling
but if u could see into my eyes,my heart swell...no longer in shape.

yet i keep telling myself i am happy.
these tears are happiness...
but i cant lie myself.
i pity myself.
that i had to lie...
lie bcos of love...


i walked down the street,admiring another person's beauty.
yet i was looking into a mirror,cant get enough of my own reflection...
i saw the beauty of mine,i am gratefull..
but the beauty in that other person keep lingers in mine...i begin to compare myself.
i saw flaws here and there...
the imperfections become visible.
i have mine,she got hers...
human never seems to be gratefull...are'nt we?

i do.i am contented.
i had to.
this time i pity myself too...
that the contentment had been out shadowed...
i fall for that beauty...
pity me that i had to lie...
lie for love...


there are hopes in those eyes...
i saw them from far.
when i drew myself closer,i felt the pain,by just looking at those eyes.
i wanted the pain to go off so badly that i tried to be santa...
making a cheerfull days by only guessing the fate...
i choose the path as writtened in every stories...that santa use the chimney.
the instinct says it wasnt my destiny.
i chose not to listen to it,but rebelion urging from within me.
now please pity me...
that i had to lie...
lie with love...