he who i called love bck then...

khiri mohamad?
saper plak la???
that was my first reaction when this weird msg appeared on my phone that replied my msg asking who...
he ask me to check on my myspace to get the clu who the hell he was.
well curious me didgo n check...ofcos it bother me so much that he knows quiet alot about me n man2...on myspace he rank me 9 over 10.
hell...
i was foolish n childish still bck then...

n what draws my attention is that this guy was different than the rest of guys who text me...
people contact me with reason which to date me or to atleast hang out or see me or befrend..
but this guy has no hidden agenda just to kacau-ing me n texting plain cheeky guy teasing over girl but nothing to do with crushing or bla3.
so i wonder who is this ayie?

i really attracted to those guys who would never looked at my way n never bother to even know me or steal a glance...lets just say show no sign of any interest on me.besides ayie shared alot of his painfull past with his ex HANY, so i thought if he could be that loyal to her, he could be loyal to me as well...so im hitting this poor lovely guy!

i cant believe that ayie dont even attracted not a bit not at all...n besides im single,among 6 strangers who texted me at that time,ayie was the diffrent one.so i keep texting him.

days when by and the next thing was,we keep on dating hush2 at the atm and theres always dumb2 excuses for us to meet up n date.we dont call it as date, ego ayie n idiot me calls it a meet up,unplanned?!cheh...

theres a cute lame excuse he asked me to come dwn n see him, that he got something to give...at the atm,when i wanted to leave he would say the ice cream will only considered as free only if i ate them with him,yes,sebelah longkang bwh atm tu la...the excuse of "he bought an extra ice-cream"were used like twice i guess? moo walls ice-cream n another one is cornetto.

n then we keep on seeing each other hush2 ly bcos his frens were curious hell to know who is ayie dating bcos ayie once vowed that he will never date any uia-ians.n then i got fed up with "mel-bulat" nick given to both by both without him confessing his feelings...n reason of why he date me on v-day so that 14th feb at 11 to midnight i told him that im going to walk away n will never see him again if he didnt confess the truth.

so poor ayie finally ask me "will you be my gf?"
n i smiled,not looking at his face...malu la time tu...i was looking at kucuk in the dark corner talking to someone...n said.."ok,im satisfied so da...pegila..."

so we're officially a pair n i get to know the parent later on.before that he asked me to join his family to go shopping but i wasnt ready to see the family...i guess i wasnt sure of what happened n wasnt ready...but then he bring me home to see k.yan n rudy.

they were wonderfull..seeing the loving couple, i start to think that maybe ayie could make me as blissfull as k.yan is...so i determined to commited to khiri mohamad.

k.yan was the person who i longed to have as a sister n abg rudy was really acting like a bro to me n they really treating me nice...how i valued them showed when im all stress out n i cant find peace at home, (campus will never able to cure stress), their house is my hide out. if its not ayie, it must be bcos i need to see k.yan nrudy.bcos ayie at early stage of relationshp shows that he wasnt recovering from the past with his hany.

i never felt that ayie did love me the way he love hany...he loves me but not as much as hany...
why?

one day, ayie was hit by a huge crisis...he was expelled from uia...from the about to be barred problem to rayuan not to be expelled, i really puts on effort n spent so much time asking here n there, turun naek office deans n be by his side.i missed classes, late to lectures, n spent all my freetime for him.

i decided that i should leave when i finished helping him with his uitm appoinment with dean that i arranged for him...

sumhow, i fell sick n was terribly bad.he brought me home to k.yan.rudy pick me up.see?i should had left but when im home,i cant even open my eyes n went i woke up, he was next to me...tuam kepala,lap tgn kaki...n the next time i woke up again,he's siting next to me...looking at me...tanyer nk air ker?n the next time, he's holding his camera n i sat, he quickly came to me...that time, i smiled...i told myself that i finally see he realy care.

we went to see the uitm dean...i was still having fever...when we're on our way home...i told him that i was thinking of saying good bye for good after that day but i saw his face changed..."ooh!ko nk tinggalkan aku ruper nyer?!"....no no...i was wrong..."i will never leave you,b...after what had happened...i will not"

well...mark my word...n see how this love story ends...

sweetest memories i had was our date with k.yan, abg rudy,k.wani n chidan...all 6 of us stuck 2hours in the car kat crpark sg wang!n the day i spent with all including abah n mama kat apartment crown princess,photo shoot with k.wani chidan k.yan n rudy...n the last sweet memory was sagil with idir...that final date,he's not my ayie anymore...

people can tell how ayie mean so much to me...evryone can guess which weekend im going home to k.yan's to see ayie or home to parent...i glow hell of excited if that weekend i planned to see him!

i managed to keep cash well-managed just to make sure i can always text him n go bck to see him...n i scored really well...

but when my phone got stuck in the toilet bowl...i was phone-less...

ayie still convince me that he's still loyal to me...but that raya,i cant spent with the famly since i have no kg to go so parent sure need us to follow evrywhere...besides raya is for family...
the next week...i joined the whole family of ayies to go raya at a cousins house...that time...i felt that ayie has changed.

the night he pick me up...at pekeliling...he was acting as if im burdoning him...he didnt show it but i can feel the feelings of uneasy of my presence...

that day we went raya-ing...
he was having headache n he refuse to land on my lap...

i frown.

rudy want to snap our pic together...he was reluctant.n the picture was like a mere frens snap.

lets not prolonged this heart-breaking climax part.make it short...
the next thing i knew...he wants to get bck to his ex,hany who dump him bck then...

it was during my final paper which i left a lot of blank paper un answered bcos it was the most heart-tearing tragedy for me...

ayie had left...

reason?none...except that im too perfect n not even once we argue on stuff...we argue once in 3 months time...and thats not normal for him?and im too commited with studies?n not having enuff freedom...n never complaints...

after i finished my final,i went to see him...i redha,letting him go...
we spent our last weekend togehter...but never thought that wasnt the end of suffering...

i thought that i could end this n still befriend,but things happened alot after that making hany n ayie is my worst nightmare...

i cant forget the pain n damages they've cost me...i may forgive if ayie said sorry sincere n proper way like hw hany did once...but i still dont find that sorry in him...

but ayie did showed me n made me learnt some stuff...
besides he made me get to know my now-favourite bestfrens like kcuk,nigger...n made me value awe n pokyeh so much...he also made me learnt how does it feels to be in hrr place n made karma punishment pays off.

he gave me alot of sweet memories n as well as painfull memories too
leaving me with confidence of no need to dress to kill n make ups to be hot.
but after he left, i picked up wrong style n lucky i got to know azra who changed me into i was before n now even better.

im upgrating myself...leaving disasterous me behind..

thanks to azra...

ayie..bye2,azra...thank god you came!